Become an ally

Throughout the world, understandings and concepts of this vary and manifest in different ways. In most countries, when children are born they’re assigned their gender status as male or female based on their genitals.

Surgery on intersex children

Children who are born with ambiguous genitalia, or genitalia that doesn't fit into the categories of male or female are given surgeries to make them aesthetically conform to one sex or another, which can be detrimental to their understanding of their own gender later in their life. This is sometimes done without their consent.

Visit the Intersex Justice Project to find out more about the work being done to prevent unnecessary surgery on children born with ambiguous genitalia, and see how different organisations and charities are working to support intersex people.

Some countries also recognise another category, for example ‘diverse’ for those that don’t fit into these categories. However, someone’s gender identity (a person’s sense of their own gender), and their gender expression (how they express their gender to the world), may be different from the sex they were assigned at birth. Someone’s gender identity and gender expression may also be different from each other.

We’ve pulled together some tips on how to be a good LGBTQIA+ ally

• Listen - If a friend feels comfortable in opening up to you, the most important thing you can do is listen. Remember that just because someone has spoken to you, they might not be out to everyone so make sure you keep any conversations confidential.


• Educate yourself - Doing some research, reading up online and learning a little more is a great place to start. Find out about people whose sexualities and genders are different from your own. Confront your own assumptions, prejudices and biases. Sometimes using new definitions or language can be a bit scary, so check out the glossary above.


• Be a visible ally - Anyone can be an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, but it’s even more important to be visible as an ally. Wearing one of our MDX LGBTQIA+ lanyards, attending a LGBTQIA+ event, raising inclusion topics in meetings or talk about articles you read at the weekend are all small ways in which you can be more visible as an ally.


• Speak up - As an ally you can use your position of privilege in a non-marginalised group (e.g. as a straight person) to advocate for those in a marginalised group. This may mean speaking up or intervening if you hear an anti-LGBTQIA+ joke or if someone misgenders another person. By speaking up you remove the burden from the LGBTQIA+ person.


• Give space to LGBTQIA+ people -  It’s important that allies defend LGBTQIA+ peers but this needs to be balanced with not overshadowing or occupying a LGBTQIA+ person’s right to speak up for themselves. Ask LGBTQIA+ colleagues and leaders how you can be supportive, rather than assuming a role, and follow their lead.


• Avoid personal questioning - People are sometimes curious about LGBTQIA+ people and their lives which can lead them to want to ask personal questions. However, like everyone else, LGBTQIA+ may want to keep their personal lives private. Consider if you would feel comfortable asking a straight colleague the same question, if not, then you probably shouldn’t ask an LGBTQIA+ colleague the same thing.

As well as the guidance above, the following are informal guidelines on how to support people who are trans or non-binary:

• Treat trans and non-binary people with the dignity and respect they deserve and consider the additional barriers and sensitives they may face.

• Don’t assume a person’s gender by their name, voice or the way they express their clothing.

• It might be possible to listen and observe how an individual might like to be addressed, or what pronouns they use, but sometimes this may not be possible. If the opportunity doesn’t arise, you could use the singular ‘they’ or respectfully ask what pronouns a person uses – e.g. ‘Can I ask what pronouns you use?’

• If you make a mistake with pronouns, correct yourself, apologise and move on. Don’t make a big deal out of it as you don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

• Put your own pronouns in your email signature – this normalises discussions about gender and creates an inclusive environment for trans and non-binary students and staff. By adding these words to your email signature, you’re making clear how you would like to be referred to, whilst also signalling to the recipient that you will respect their gender identity and choice of pronouns.

• Don’t ask a trans person what their ‘real’ or ‘birth’ name is. For some people, being associated with their birth name is a huge source of anxiety, or it is simply a part of their life they wish to leave behind. Respect the name a person uses, and if you happen to know the name someone was given at birth but no longer uses, don’t share it without the person’s explicit permission.  If documents have to be kept that have the person’s previous name and gender on them, keep them confidential.